Opening Up

As a kid, I was painfully shy. And I don’t mean just afraid to talk to the kid sitting next to me shy; I mean even when I spoke no one could hear me. Now, I have been called an enigma by more than one person, and it has made me realize that I’ve never really outgrown the coy kid I once was.

I’m sure (actually I know) that I’m not the only one who’s ever felt alone in this world, and although there may be pros to staying introverted and reserved, I’ve never stepped back to see the many cons.

I have always thought that the solution to almost anything was to keep it to myself; whether it was positive or negative. This included desires, passions, talents and mistakes. Mostly, I think I just trusted myself to grow confident enough about something in private to finally share it with the world later.

Don’t do this, you will get stuck!

So here I am, at 20 years of age, and willing to open up to the world (notice how I didn’t say ready?). All fears of being judged, embarrassed, or discouraged are reluctantly being put aside.

In the recent years, I’ve learned to let go a little more and express what I’m feeling a little more. So yes, again, here we are, where I shall share my experiences as an outsider, a loner, a rebellion, encouraged, up high and down low. If you’ve ever felt like no one else gets it, just know you’re not alone! And I hope that I can encourage others to open up a little bit too.

When I say ‘open up,’ I don’t mean coming out or revealing your darkest secrets. It could just mean being honest about how you feel or something you want to do! Which can be equally difficult to do.

But that’s why I’m here—to be raw and honest.

It took me over a year to admit to my parents that I wanted to pursue a career in a creative field, and even longer to admit it to the rest of my family. No, I didn’t receive a mutual support from everyone in my life, but it felt really good to finally do what I wanted to do.

As a start, these are some things you may or may not know about me, or simply confessions that will let you into my life and get to know me a little more.

I’m writing a book! I’m currently editing my second novel with high hopes of taking it further (not that it was a secret, but now you know).

I used to HATE reading. (People change…)

I only stopped playing soccer and volleyball competitively 3 years ago. Nothing else mattered at the time.

I have started many blogs without telling anyone (mistake).

I play piano and guitar, and I do think I have a decent voice.

I’m an avid sports fan (soccer, volleyball, football, basketball, hockey… you get the point).

I have been homeless.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have a secret passion for fashion.

I used to dream of being an actress (then I discovered writing).

I get very uncomfortable around friends I don’t know well.

I very much enjoy my own company.

I’ve seen professionals and still suck at talking about feelings.

I hate Donald Trump (oh wait, that wasn’t a secret).

I think I’m 10 years older than I am at heart.

I’ve wanted to start this blog for a very, very long time.

So there, a few facts about me. And it really does feel good.

I invite you to join me in this creative life whether it be creating made up worlds or enjoying a cup of coffee in a new destination. And just maybe, you’ll get a glimpse inside my silly little head.

The things we don’t want to talk about make us feel alone because no one else wants to talk about them either. I promise to be honest and open with you here, because there’s no better feeling than being honest with yourself.

Honestly and truly yours,

3 thoughts on “Opening Up”

  1. Great read! I run in to the same problems when talking with people and I am REALLY BAD at talking about feelings and stuff. Keep up the great work!

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