Everything in life has to balance. Well, I don’t know if it does but that’s what they say; balanced diet!
This is a topic that seems to blow up when I’m in school. Drama school specifically, and I think it’s because people feel the need to choose between life and work. One is chosen and the other is neglected and getting that part of your life back is harder than ever once it’s gone.
So do we have to choose?
I don’t think we can. Chasing our dreams is a full-time job but is it still a dream when it’s destructive? It’s important not to let the things that make you happy get lost during the chase.
Don’t be swallowed up by one seed.
The reason I feel the need to express how I feel about this is because I’ve allowed one side overwhelm the other many times and I get lost. And I’ve seen others I care about shut out one part of their life and it’s difficult to watch.
I love what I do, and I take it very seriously. In the midst of being involved in it, whether it be writing, directing or so on, it’s easy to forget about the love in my life. And I don’t just mean the romantic “love-life”—I mean the friends and family that I have a lot of love for. I forget to call and ask how they’re doing, or take time out of my week to grab a coffee with someone.
But I mean, if I get to choose, is it that bad?
I can’t tell you that one or the other is wrong. I’ve found myself using one as an excuse for the lack of the other, and after a while, I convince myself that’s what best. And it ends up biting me in the bum. These are some things that might happen if you make yourself choose one over the other.
One becomes a negative factor in your life.
I’ve done this so many times, and it’s usually using my work as an excuse as to why I haven’t been talking to my friends; or I can’t go socialize because I have too much work and it’s “more important.” This is all fine and good, until the work isn’t actually that important and it’s still an excuse. Then the people I love end up being obstacles to my work and I get irritated just by them asking where I’ve been all this time. They become negative in my life! And all of this just because I make myself believe I don’t need or want these people in my life.
You find that one doesn’t fulfil you anymore.
In eliminating either love or passion from your life only leaves you with one, and being obsessed with that one—after a while—can get boring. I’m sure your hubby is super sexy and loving and all that good stuff; but if you’re clinging to your partner all day-week-month-year-long, what do you talk about with them if you never do anything else? Vice versa—if you never leave your work, you can never come back to it fresh. It’s enforcing a limit on your life by shutting out other options. Don’t shut yourself down.
You lose inspiration.
How do you find inspiration for what you’re passionate about if you’re constantly swimming in it? This might apply to the creative fields more than anything else, but it applies nonetheless. There are so many ways of gaining perspective and ideas, and venturing into different aspects of life can fuel others. What experiences do you have in your relationships that you can apply to your work? What have you discovered in your work or interests that you can share with your partner or friends? We need to share!
You get stuck.
Once you’ve decided, the choice somehow is engrained in stone. I don’t know why this is, but it seems to be the case with everything; we’re stubborn beings and don’t want to go back on a decision. In doing this, it’s as if we’ve lost whatever we’re choosing not to have—and we’ve lost it for good. This is most definitely not true, but taking a step back isn’t all that easy, considering we have to admit that it wasn’t the best decision in the first place. Also, consequently, I think it’s easy to lose ourselves in the confusion of what we want. Though getting lost a few times isn’t such a terrible thing. It’s good to search and discover.
I’m only speaking from personal experience here so feel free to completely disagree! But try not to be stubborn in sticking to one wall like glue when you could stand between two.